The Secret to a Happy and Healthy Relationship
Most of us can think of a couple that we look up to and admire. It’s a couple that has stood the test of time and display real care, happiness and commitment to one another. To achieve this is not easy and many people enter relationships expecting it to last their lifetime. Quite often, people stay in a relationship where they are not actually happy and stay for other reasons such as family pressure, financial reasons or because they have children. This means that staying together with someone is not the mark of a relationship, instead what is essential is the quality of that relationship. What is important is that a relationship is happy and healthy. Happy relationships tend to share some specific behaviours and it’s these behaviours that are important. We will take a look at how you can make sure that your relationship is one that’s happy, healthy and long lasting.
Work at Your Relationship
Research tells us that if you work at a relationship, it’s more likely to last. The kinds of behaviours that produce a satisfying relationship include being open and honest, being reassuring, using emotions to express yourself and sharing any responsibilities that comes as part of a relationship.
Be Loving
Research has revealed that if a couple tries new and interesting things together, they are more likely to keep the spark in their relationship alive. To keep the romantic side of things going, try and give each other honest compliments which are meaningful and sincere. This highlights that a happy and healthy relationship is not about grand gestures and in fact it’s the small things such as expressing how you love your partner that matter.
Be Realistic
It’s crucial to recognise that the infatuation you had for each other when you first got together will not last. Instead your relationship will evolve to one that’s deeper and richer. It’s important to also recognise that all relationships have good and bad days and being realistic is acknowledging and expecting this.
Let Things Go
Constantly arguing is one of main reasons for a relationship breakdown. Quite often an argument may take place over a small issue but this escalates out of proportion. These situations are not productive and it’s more important to find a way of reducing this kind of conflict. A way of doing this is by letting things go. The way in which a couple manages an argument tells us a lot about how successful their relationship will be.
Talk About Things
We have said it’s important to let conflicts go, but it’s also important to talk about them. Ideally a couple needs to be flexible in the way in which they resolve a conflict. There is no one way of dealing with a conflict and the best way is to adapt the way of approaching a conflict, depending on each individual situation.
Recommit Regularly
When we think of the word love, we tend to imagine emotional intimacy and passion. However, it is commitment that directly relates to satisfaction in a relationship and especially in a long-term relationship. We consciously choose to commit and if we try and recommit each day, we are more likely to experience a long-lasting, happy relationship.
Have Fun
Although life can be serious, we also need to remember to have fun. Those that are light-hearted make having fun a priority and this brings satisfaction and happiness to a relationship. For this reason, it’s clear that being fun and playful is important if you want to have a happy and healthy relationship.
Try Mindfulness
Life takes over, and more often than not you don’t get to spend good quality time with your partner. You worry about your list of things to do and you just whirl along until you get to the end of the week. Try and take a moment to yourself and practice mindfulness. Research has shown that those that practice mindfulness tend to have better relationships. Mindfulness involves focusing on the moment and with practice, this tends to create a relationship of trust and intimacy.
Make Time for Yourself
As important as it is to spend time together, it’s also believed that spending time apart is key to a healthy, happy relationship. It’s perfectly normal to have interests that you do not share and when doing things separately, you may miss your partner and this highlights how much they actually mean to you.
A romantic relationship is a two-way process and for this reason they are very complex and always changing. A good relationship does not just happen and requires work in order for it to be successful and long lasting. Although there are no black and white answers to the health and happiness of a relationship, we can all agree that commitment and effort are important factors for any relationship to work.
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Lisa Schafer Registered Psychologist
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I’m a registered psychologist with 20+ years of experience empowering individuals to believe in themselves, develop more confidence, and improve clarity and direction in their lives. I use holistic and strengths-based approach to help clients harness their unique strengths, recognise their sources of energy and build greater resilience and wellbeing.
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Lyn O’Grady CHILD, ADOLESCENT & ADULT PSYCHOLOGIST
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As a Registered Community Psychologist, I have worked with parents in community settings for approximately 10 years as well as with children and young people in school settings for 10 years.
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Susanne Goldie Registered Psychologist
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I work with a wide range of individuals in a non-judgemental, holistic way to understand each person’s unique circumstances and support them in achieving their goals. I work with people of all ages.
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Dr. Geoff Newbegin Counselling Psychologist & Psychotherapist
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I am an experienced counsellor and psychologist with over 15 years of experience, which includes a wide range of clinical experience.
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Lucas Silva-Myles Clinical Psychologist
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My therapeutic approach is to be understanding, not judgmental. I find it important for you to feel trusted, and like you are an equal in your own therapy. After all, while I may be an expert in psychology, you are the expert of ‘you’.
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Cora Clough Counsellor
Appointments Available
I am a registered counsellor and work from a humanistic, client-centred approach to assist individuals in understanding and healing their emotional system. I also assist couples by offering counselling for relationship difficulties, trauma recovery, grief and loss, stress, anxiety, domestic violence, emotional regulation and general mental health issues.
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Michele Sicheroli Counsellor
Appointments Available
Kind, respectful and compassionate, I am genuinely interested in helping people discover and strengthen their skills and resources. Every person is unique and has natural resources that will allow them to thrive and have a meaningful life. My objective is to help you become aware of your inner strengths and use them to navigate hardships and enjoy the present moment.