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Most of us can think of a marriage that we look up to and admire. It’s a marriage that has stood the test of time and display real care, happiness and commitment to one another. To achieve this is not easy and many people enter marriage expecting it to last their lifetime. Quite often, people stay in a marriage where they are not actually happy and stay for other reasons such as family pressure, financial reasons or because they have children. This means that staying together with someone is not the mark of a relationship, instead what is essential is the quality of that relationship. What is important is that a relationship is happy and healthy. Happy relationships tend to share some specific behaviours and it’s these behaviours that are important. We will take a look at how you can make sure that your relationship is one that’s happy, healthy and long lasting.
Work at Your Marriage
Research tells us that if you work at a marriage, it’s more likely to last. The kinds of behaviours that produce a satisfying relationship include being open and honest, being reassuring, using emotions to express yourself and sharing any responsibilities that comes as part of a relationship.
Research has revealed that if a couple tries new and interesting things together, they are more likely to keep the spark in their relationship alive. To keep the romantic side of things going, try and give each other honest compliments which are meaningful and sincere. This highlights that a happy and healthy relationship is not about grand gestures and in fact it’s the small things such as expressing how you love your partner that matter.
It’s crucial to recognise that the infatuation you had for each other when you first got together will not last. Instead your relationship will evolve to one that’s deeper and richer. It’s important to also recognise that all relationships have good and bad days and being realistic is acknowledging and expecting this.
Let Things Go
Constantly arguing is one of main reasons for a relationship breakdown. Quite often an argument may take place over a small issue but this escalates out of proportion. These situations are not productive and it’s more important to find a way of reducing this kind of conflict. A way of doing this is by letting things go. The way in which a couple manages an argument tells us a lot about how successful their relationship will be.
Talk About Things
We have said it’s important to let conflicts go, but it’s also important to talk about them. Ideally a couple needs to be flexible in the way in which they resolve a conflict. There is no one way of dealing with a conflict and the best way is to adapt the way of approaching a conflict, depending on each individual situation.
When we think of the word love, we tend to imagine emotional intimacy and passion. However, it is commitment that directly relates to satisfaction in a relationship and especially in a long-term relationship. We consciously choose to commit and if we try and recommit each day, we are more likely to experience a long-lasting, happy relationship.
Although life can be serious, we also need to remember to have fun. Those that are light-hearted make having fun a priority and this brings satisfaction and happiness to a relationship. For this reason, it’s clear that being fun and playful is important if you want to have a happy and healthy relationship.
Make Time for Yourself
As important as it is to spend time together, it’s also believed that spending time apart is key to a healthy, happy relationship. It’s perfectly normal to have interests that you do not share and when doing things separately, you may miss your partner and this highlights how much they actually mean to you.
A romantic relationship is a two-way process and for this reason they are very complex and always changing. A good relationship does not just happen and requires work in order for it to be successful and long lasting. Although there are no black and white answers to the health and happiness of a relationship, we can all agree that commitment and effort are important factors for any relationship to work.
Couples Counselling at the Centre
Please call (03) 9820 5577 for enquiries and appointments.