Self-Esteem: A Work in Progress
Self-Esteem
You are the sum of your interactions including how you relate to others in the workplace, at school, in the family environment, and your personal interactions with friends and strangers. These relationships and interactive moments provide the feedback, criticisms and data that we use to help us develop self-esteem.
How you value yourself as an individual lets you know how healthy your self-esteem is, and whether or not there are issues that you should be addressing. A balanced view of your intrinsic value is emotionally healthy but many people suffer from either too much self-esteem or too little.
Your self-esteem and self-confidence are connected and if either of these is being negatively impacted the results will be noticeable in both areas. The development of self-esteem begins early in life, even while you are still an infant. Parents and other relatives are an important support system and they provide comments and critiques that can either boost your sense of self-worth or chip away at your sense of confidence and positive self-esteem a little at a time.
It is normal to compare yourself to other people and then figure out where you rank in the human equation. This is a significant step toward self-concept and awareness. Individuals frequently compare their appearance, height, talents, or performance on a written test as factors that determine how they are faring in relation to others.
Interestingly people will always base their comparison of how well they have done on their own knowledge of the world they live in. If your world is very limited then naturally you will have fewer comparisons to consider.
Those who believe that appearance is the most important fact of life will naturally base the majority of their concepts, values and sense of self-worth on how their appearance ranks in comparison to others. If they find that they have an appearance that is considered to be attractive then this adds to their personal feeling of self-esteem.
People who feel that organisation is a valuable and desirable trait will focus on whether or not their organizational skills are as good (or better) than others around them. Those who truly value these particular skills and practice them regularly will develop self-esteem about their organizational ability.
Healthy values and a healthy personal belief system are essential to the development of normal self-esteem. This means that you need to appreciate yourself for being the person that you are and base your appreciation on core values instead of superficial elements such as appearance, height or weight.
Constant criticism and a negative environment can have profound effects on an individual’s self-esteem and self-confidence. This can create many additional problems later in life and can keep an individual from fully becoming the person that they want to be.
If you feel that you lack value as a person it is indicative of issues with your self-esteem. You have allowed others to dictate how you view yourself. In order to combat the problem, you will have to change the path that you are now walking.
Self-doubt, a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem can be improved but it will take effort and work. You did not develop these issues overnight and it will take some time for you to begin building your self-esteem, but it can be done.
Counselling will help you erase negative thoughts and show you ways to add positive thinking to your daily life. You also need to concentrate on making the right changes by discovering who you really are and focusing on the values and ideals that you hold dear.
If you are looking for help, whether for yourself or for a loved one, our psychologists can assist in exploring underlying issues through therapy. Please visit our practitioners’ page to find out more, or call (03) 9820-5577 for an appointment or to make enquiries.
If you are looking for help, whether for yourself or a loved one, our psychologists can assist in exploring underlying issues through therapy. Please visit our practitioners’ page to find out more, or call (03) 9820-5577 for an appointment or to make enquiries.
Psychologists at the Centre for Emotion Focused Practice

Rebecca Carlson
Registered Psychologist & Clinical Registrar
I work to create strong, supportive relationships, which allow people to explore their experiences and struggles in a safe and non-judgmental space. I provide intervention that is collaborative and tailored to each person’s individual goals.

Laura Knox
Psychologist
I am a registered psychologist with an interest in providing high-quality therapeutic care in a safe and supportive environment. I work collaboratively with people to help address life stressors, improve psychological health and develop a more fulfilling life.

Susanne Goldie
Psychologist
I work with a wide range of individuals in a non-judgemental, holistic way to understand each person’s unique circumstances and support them in achieving their goals. I work with people of all ages.

Oliver Santiago
Registered Psychologist & Clinical Psychology Registrar
My experience as a Counsellor and Psychologist has spanned a period of 12 years, many of which have been within the community, organisational, educational and hospital sectors. This myriad of experiences has undoubtedly shaped my approach in how I listen and understand people’s difficulties.

Joan Hamilton Roberts
Counselling Psychologist & Psychodramatist
I have worked with individuals & couples for over 20 years. I help people rediscover forgotten perspectives & create new visions.
Geoff Newbegin
Counselling Psychologist & Psychotherapist
I am an experienced counsellor and psychologist with over 15 years of experience, which includes a wide range of clinical experience.
Christine Hayes
Educational and Developmental Psychologist
I provide psychological therapy services for adults, including parents, and for adolescents.
Saturday Appointments
Novi Sutanto
Psychologist
I believe in using curiosity and compassion when connecting with people, both inside, and out of, the therapy room.
Saturday Appointments

Matt Borowik
Psychologist
I am a supportive and compassionate person who believes that openness, collaboration and human connection is essential to positive outcomes in therapy.
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Consider the idea that self esteem IS as self-esteem DOES. Here, a strong, well-constructed self-concept can be bolstered through engaging in diverse behavioral activity in a variety of areas (i.e. more eggs in more baskets). In this model, strengthening self-esteem occurs indirectly — through behavioral activities that give rise to a wider range of beneficial knowledge and expertise. Thus, improved positive self esteem is the product of a “wider” self-concept, defined by “widening” one’s behavioral repertoire.
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